Tuesday, June 05, 2012
♥ Restore Broken Trust to Save Your Marriage
The Biggest Enemy to Marriage
Trust is fragile. Once broken it is hard to mend. This is all the more so in a marriage. When trust is gone, the marriage is on shaky ground. Thus it is imperative to restore trust to save a marriage that is heading for break-up. Let me share two critical elements in restoring trust.
Two Critical Elements to Restore Trust
Although it may be difficult to restore trust, it is not impossible. Trust can be restored through two main elements. These two elements are attitude and action. There are attitudes for both partners to adopt. Firstly, on the part of the erring partner, to restore trust there must be openness, accountability and assurance. In essence, these three things are different attitudes. Allow me to elaborate on these three attitudes. The attitude of openness is displayed by allowing the aggrieved partner to ask any question he or she wants for as long as necessary. It is better for your partner to ask concerning anything that still troubles him or her than to keep it inside only for it to flare up in future and destroy trust again. The attitude of openness leads to accountability.
Being accountable to your partner is a crucial step in restoring your partner's trust in you even though it might be an inconvenience to be accountable. It is important that you bear with the inconvenience and not give in to irritability, impatience or frustration. If need be, allow yourselves to be accountable not only to one another, but to another close friend or marriage counselor.
Being accountable to your partner is a crucial step in restoring your partner's trust in you even though it might be an inconvenience to be accountable. It is important that you bear with the inconvenience and not give in to irritability, impatience or frustration. If need be, allow yourselves to be accountable not only to one another, but to another close friend or marriage counselor.
Your partner needs to be assured because she might be thinking whether it was a mistake marrying you. Thoughts such as, "If he has done it before, he may do it again," will be running through her mind. These thoughts make your partner feel extremely vulnerable. Moreover, your partner may find it more difficult than you to leave the past behind and move on. Be patient with her. This is because what she wants is different from what you want. You want closure and to move on whereas she wants assurance. So give your partner the assurance that she needs. These three attitudes are for the partner who is in the wrong to adopt. But trust cannot be fully restored without the other partner. The partner who has been betrayed also has attitudes to adopt to restore trust.
On the part of the aggrieved partner, the attitude of letting go of the past failures of your partner is essential. If you keep remembering and harping on the wrongs of your partner, you will never be able to trust him or her. Your attitude should be to forgive and forget as far as possible. Do not hold your partner's wrongs against him or her. Closely linked to the attitude of releasing the past is the next attitude.
The next attitude is that of believing the best about your partner. There must be intentionality in giving your partner the benefit of the doubt and believing that he or she is trustworthy. Coupled with that is the attitude of giving second chances. This does not mean condoning infidelity or deceit but it does mean that you are willing to keep on trying provided there is repentance and change by your partner. Now let me share about the next element required to restore trust, that is action.
Correct attitudes would lead to correct action. The erring partner should take appropriate actions such as changing behavior, breaking off an affair or becoming a more responsible spouse or parent. The other partner must reciprocate in like manner with actions such as acceptance, support and cooperating with your partner in rebuilding the relationship between the two of you. Restoring trust is a process, built through persistent, sustained and appropriate attitudes and actions of both partners. Cooperate with one another. Help one other trust each other more. As mentioned, get another couple to hold you both accountable. People usually do what is inspected rather than what is expected.
Conclusion
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. The closer the relationship, the more important trust is to that relationship. There is no other relationship closer than marriage for two human beings. Thus restoring trust is imperative to save any marriage.
Hope this may help fo all the marriage couple . Learn to forgive and understand .=)
9:24 PM
Friday, March 16, 2012
♥ Have settle down =)
Its been a year nvr come blog liao =)
Guess what i have settle down wif my MR RITE on 12.03.2011 =) hehe
And we have just celebrate our 1 year married last 2 weeks. Felt so happy have him in my life .
I will be having my wedding dinner on this year NOV 2012 =) Need to prepare alot of thing and make me so excited too hahas .. step by step need to settle a lot of things .
Like :
Wedding montage (DIY)
Wedding favor
how many guest we need to invite
wedding invitation cards
Photographer/Videographer
ETC....
Still .... make me so headache hahas ...
On April i going to try my wedding dress for my MAY 2012 pre-wedding photo shot!
MY Big day one month by month past is like getting nearest .. =)
MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IS " I WANT SLIM DOWN !! "I hope i can make it =x LOLS ..
Lastly , My si xiaobei is having her wedding dinner this year July 2012 too ! I felt excited for her too hahas although she didnt invite me to her wedding due to some reason , i understand . but she say she will celebrate wif me and NPY after the wedding hahas .. you must xin fu !! =)
7:15 PM
